About Me

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I am a 29 year old teacher of fourth grade. My husband and I began TTC in March of 2008. We conceived our first month, but unfortunately it only ended in an early miscarriage. 8 months later we finally conceived again, and she was our take-home baby! Norah Jane was born on July 16, 2009. 7lbs 0oz 19" long and amazing. We recently had our sweet baby boy, Miles! He was born on June 12, 2013 at 3:37pm, weighing in at 8lbs 4oz, 20 inches long, and PERFECT! We are loving every minute of parenthood (even the frustrating minutes!). This blog is an attempt to chronicle the baby steps, foot steps, leaps, bounds, and milestones of this journey.

Monday, December 29, 2008

Told the World

Between announcing it to our youth group on Sunday morning and putting it on facebook last night, the world now knows that I am pregnant. It is such a relief. I was getting so frustrated with keeping it a secret. But now it is out, and now I can safely excuse myself from most situations gracefully to puke...well, except for at work. They are the only ones that don't know. There are only three people at my school who know, and I am so afraid of telling my principal it's not even funny. She doesn't have kids, and I don't know why. What I am afraid of is her not hiring me back. If I don't get hired back, then I don't have insurance. If I don't have insurance, then oh my goodness that would be awful. I am just hoping that she is going to be wonderful and supportive about it, even though it is the worst timing for a teacher to have a baby... due August 1st, two weeks before school starts.

So my best case scenario is this: She is super happy for me (yeah, right), and she wants me to take off as much time as I need (yeah, right), and there is no way she is not going to hire me back for next year (we'll see). I wish I had tenure.

9w2d

Friday, December 26, 2008

Happenings

Christmas has passed and the day after is here. I think I am going to go shopping today. I got a pair of earrings from H that I really like, but when I put them on, they bent a little and now they won't stay closed very securely... so I have to take them back. Oh well. We had a nice quiet Christmas... just the two of us. Funny, it was the first Christmas that was just the two of us (every other year I have been with my family with him), and it will be the last Christmas with just the two of us. Baby is due August 1st, so s/he will be 4 months old come next Christmas. :)

Speaking of the pregnancy... I am nervous. I am not nervous to have the baby or be the mother of this child after s/he is born, but I am nervous to be pregnant. I have wanted to be pregnant for so long, but now it kinda gives me the willies. Like the whole being kicked from the inside thing... I don't know how I am going to react once this happens. The no control over my body thing, and the aches and pains that go with pregnancy. I mean, I know I will make it through, and that we will be rewarded with the most incredible gift in the world, I'm just nervous about it all. It has gotten better over the last few days though. It is probably from all of the m/s... makin me crazy! :)

So now the whole family knows about the little baby. :) We told the last of H's side on Christmas eve, and they were excited. His grandmother already has 8 great grand kids, so not a huge deal, but still exciting to her. :) Oh, and I still totally think it is a girl, so I think I'm going to just call her a she from now on in the blog.

I never did take a belly pic this week. I'll be nine weeks tomorrow. Kinda sucks that I never did, but in my defense, I was throwing up most of the week. I have gotten sick more times than I care to count. All worth it though!

I dread going back to school in about a week. I don't want to go. I love being home. Really, I don't want to go because I don't want to tell my principal that I'm pregnant. She has no kids, and I'm really afraid of how she is going to react being that I'm a first year teacher and all.

Until next time. :)
8w6d

Sunday, December 21, 2008

I love my Husband!




H let me...actually, made me, open a present last night. It was too sweet. I just love that man. I asked for The Belly Book for Christmas, but I had no idea he'd go out and get the baby onesies too. He bought two... one in case it is a girl (Daddy Loves Me) and one in case it is a boy (paint by number truck). I was so giddy when he gave them to me. He is just as excited and happy about this baby as I am, and that makes me love him even more. :)

The Belly Book is kinda cool too. It has all of these spaces for different milestones and cravings/aversions. I am going to go play with it in a few minutes. Oh, and it is in the shape of a pregnant belly, which is kinda cool.

So this pregnancy is moving along quite well. I know the baby is doing fine because I am sick all the time. 100% of the day I am nauseous, but it is fine with me. It is going to be worth it in the end when that little person gets to come home with us from the hospital. Up until yesterday I couldn't eat anything other than crackers. Everything I looked at made me ill. Then finally, finally, I had a craving for something. Raw vegetables. I ate some last night, and although I threw up once, I didn't feel incredibly nauseous today. Woohoo! So, I went to Kroger and bought celery, carrots, oranges, pineapple (I know, fruits), salad mix, and my favorite ginger dressing (best $4 spent ever). I just ended up eating a lunch of salad with the aforementioned veggies and dressing, accompanied by cup a soup and water with lemon. Finally, some nutrition! Let's see if it stays down a while.

I will get a belly pic for week 8 up soon. H is at a Titans game today, so the picture will probably have to wait until tomorrow. Oh!! I don't have a complete dino baby anymore! :)

8w1d

Saturday, December 20, 2008

8 Weeks!

Two whole months pregnant. Woot! :) I'm pretty excited. If it wasn't for this unrelenting m/s, I'd be bouncing off the walls.

In other news. My two week Christmas vacation started yesterday evening. Nice. :)

Friday, December 19, 2008

A month ago today...

I found out I was pregnant. If I wasn't pregnant, I would be testing today. :) I'm so happy I don't have to. I am so glad to know that everything is ok with our little baby. I can't stop looking at the pictures... I just can't believe that there is a real human, a real baby in my tummy growing. :)

I'll be 8 weeks tomorrow. Milestone #3.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Our Baby's First Picture!

As promised, here is the beautiful u/s photo of our perfect baby. :)

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It's a BABY!

I can't even begin to explain the emotion that I felt today. We went to our appointment at 10:45am. I had H come in case they needed some medical history from him... they didn't. I went in there after waiting an hour in the waiting room. The NP was wonderful. Answered all of my questions, made me feel really good about this pregnancy, etc. It was nice.

Then, at the end, she said, "Do you have any questions?"
I said, "Well, yes. I spoke to someone on the phone a few weeks ago and they told me that they could get me in for an ultrasound before Christmas. Is that still accurate?"
"Sure! I can probably get you in today!"
"Wow! Yes!"

So, we head down to the lab on the 2nd floor of the thirty story building. I get called back for my blood work and urine sample within five minutes. They took four viles, and it really didn't hurt. Then I went back to the waiting room. I waited about 30 minutes and they called me back. I was so so so nervous.

H laughed as I had to get undressed and sit on the table. The tech came back in and had a wand the size of Texas in her hand. She told me to lay back and prop up my butt which I did. Then after a shock of cold and a deep breath... there it was. Our baby. Our miracle. Our perfect baby. I saw it instantly and tears drizzled down my cheek. I was in amazement. It was the most awesome, God-affirming thing I'd ever seen. The heart was beating like crazy too. 160 bpm. H and I were in heaven. Our little baby is in my tummy doing perfectly and measuring exactly on schedule. 7w4d.

We watched the screen for about 10 minutes. She checked out my ovaries and looked to see if there was more than one in there... there's not. Whew. :) She left the room for a minute for me to get dressed, and then brought me the best gift I will get this Christmas... 4 pictures of our beautiful, perfect baby. I will post them as soon as I can. I've got to go to kinkos to get them scanned in. Oh... I'm in love.

When I called my parents afterwards I was a crying mess. I have never cried so much because I was so happy before. Incredible. I cannot wait to see our baby again at the NT scan. So so so happy. :)

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Tomorrow.

1st appointment is tomorrow. H is going with me, so I'm happy about that. We are, I am assuming, just going to answer a million questions and then get blood drawn from me. What I am most excited about is getting a date for my u/s. She said that she'd try to get us in before Christmas. I hope I hope I hope I hope!

Until tomorrow...

7w3d

Sunday, December 14, 2008

The Prediction

Ok, so after reading Chrysallys' blog, I went to the website she had on there. Madame somebody predicted my birth, and the sex of our baby. Here's her prediction:

The day you deliver, outside will be sunny. Your baby will arrive in the afternoon.

After a labor lasting approximately 11 hours, your child, a boy, will be born. Your baby will weigh about 7 pounds, 13 ounces, and will be 21 inches long. This child will have dark brown eyes and some blond hair.

Oddly specific if you ask me. I am anxious to see what actually happens and how it compares to this. Although, I highly doubt that I will have an 11 hour delivery for my 1st child, but wouldn't that be awesome. Oh, and H and I both have really dark brown almost black hair, so the blonde thing... not so much. :) Thanks Chrys!

H was happy though. He's convinced it is a boy. I am going with my mother's intuition and saying that it is a girl.

I was a bag of hormones today

Ok, so I am tired for two reasons: One, I am pregnant, Two, I hosted an all-girls lock-in for our youth group this past Friday, and I have yet to catch up on sleep. Because of this tiredness, and in part of the fact that I am a hormonal mess, I broke down and cried my eyes out today in the car after church. Why? Well... because I was cold. Yep. Cold. I cried my eyes out like crazy because I had been cold in church, and cold outside, and cold last night at our friend's house. I explanied to H that I am cold everywhere I go and I can never get out of the cold. He tried to comfort me, but I could still hear him snickering. :) It was kinda funny.

7w1d

Saturday, December 13, 2008

7 Weeks!

Here I am at seven weeks today! I am loving it. I think I have one more week until my dino-baby starts to look like a real baby. I have my first appointment this week. Wednesday to be exact. I'm thinking that that is going to be a long way away. 

So m/s is still here in waves. I mostly experience it at night. No serious issues yet, but there are some times where I just have to stop in my tracks and breathe so that I don't throw up. My boobs hurt more than ever now. I was walking today and noticed how much they hurt. But who cares... anything for this baby of ours. 

7w0d

Thursday, December 11, 2008

I'm definitely pregnant.

So last night H called when he was on his way home. We were talking about what he did yesterday and how chuch went (I didn't go because I needed some serious rest). Just then, out of no where, and for no reason at all, I started crying... a lot. I'm not kidding. No reason in the world for it, and I just start boo hooing all over the place. It was so ridiculous, I was laughing while I was pouring out tears. H was saying, "What's wrong? Why are you crying?" It was too funny. 5 minutes later, I was fine.

So I do NOT feel well this morning. Aside from being really tired and having to be at school, I am feeling quite nauseous. I think I'm going to get a pop tart and a ginger ale. Wish me luck.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

One week from TODAY!

I cannot wait for the appt a week from today. I know that I am not going to get an u/s but, they will tell me WHEN I will get an u/s, so I'll finally get to have a countdown. :)

The pregnancy has been going fine so far. I have started to have here and there morning sickness, but no vomitting yet. It seems to be getting worse though, so I am preparing for the worst. I am having a hard time eating meals lately, because everything turns me off. Smells are the WORST right now. Everything smells awful to me, and I am way more sensitive than I ever was with smells. Every now and again I'll have a cramp or two, but nothing to call the doc about.

I am 6w4d and so blessed to be pregnant. :)

Saturday, December 6, 2008

6 Weeks!

Today is a mini-milestone! I have been very much looking forward to six weeks, and I'm not too sure why. I'm guessing that it is because it doesn't sound soooo early like 3w3d like when I found out, or 4w, etc. So I've got my next set of milestones down too:

7 wk 4 days (doc appt)

8 weeks (because thats 2 months!)

9 weeks ish (first u/s)

12 weeks (three months! and NT scan)

13w 3d (end of first tri!!!)

So I've got 11 more days until my next milestone. I can do it!!

Friday, December 5, 2008

Dinosaur baby

So I went to the babystrology website that I got my ticker on the right from. I was trying to find out when it would stop looking like a dinosaur. Well, it looks like I have a dino baby for at least two more weeks. That's quite alright though. I'll take any baby I can get.

Nothing much to report today. I'll be 6 weeks tomorrow, so that is pretty exciting. Still waiting for 12 days from now though. Dec 17th is my first appt. I will be begging for an u/s!

Thursday, December 4, 2008

5 weeks 5 days

I cannot wait to get out of the first trimester... only 7 weeks 5 days left. Crap, this is going by sooooo slowly! I know it will speed up, but seriously, I feel like I got my bfp 2 months ago... when really it was only like 2 weeks ago yesterday. But it has been a glorious two weeks. I have had zero morning sickness, although this morning I got a little bit nauseated, but nothing too bad, I have had zero cramping really after the first week, and I have been tired, yes, but not to the point where I'm going to die or anything. I am so happy for all of this. I really just need that U/S to get here. I know I still have FOREVER until it does, but sheesh.

Also, I cannot wait to tell people. I think I am going to start telling the important friends in my life around 8 weeks, then tell everyone else around 12. Facebook status is going up at 13 weeks 3 days! :)

Today I am pregnant and I LOVE LOVE LOVE my baby!

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Still no symptoms... I think

This is going to be a quick post-- School starts soon. I am 5 weeks 3 days today and I am loving my pregnancy. I have no symptoms yet, although my boobs do hurt a tad bit more than usual, and every now and then I get a wave of nausea, but other than that-- nothing. Hopefully I am just lucky and will have a throw up free pregnancy. Honestly, I'm a thrower upper, so I really thought that when I got pregnant I would be over the toilet all the time. We'll see.

So my parents came into town to see us. They are so very excited about the baby. They keep mentioning it, and my dad is already looking for woodworking plans to build the crib. I'm hoping I can get him to build the dresser and changing table too. :)

So that's it for now. 15 more days until my first appt, but still probably 20 or so days until 1st u/s.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

I made it to 5 weeks!

Well, I've got another week milestone under my belt. Today I am 5 weeks 1 day, and I am so pregnant. I took another test today to make sure that nothing happened over the holiday at the cabin. Don't judge. ;) I figure I will test once a week until I see that ultrasound picture of my baby's heart beating away. I can't wait for that. Unfortunately, I am not sure when that is going to be. I am seeing the Nurse Practitioner on Dec. 17th, but I figure that's just going to be family history, blood draw for stuff and all that. I did ask the lady who gave me my second set of betas over the phone what their ultrasound schedule is. From what I understand, they are going to give me one before Christmas. That would be wonderful! So, I took a plus/minus test from Walmart, and I've never seen something so dark in my life. So I AM in fact still pregnant. :)

Our trip to the cabin was fabulous. I made most of thanksgiving dinner, and it was my best year yet. H had a great time, parents had a great time, oh... and we told them. :) They were very excited and very happy! They are nervously excited though, and I completely understand. My mom made me show her the picture of the pregnancy test I took for her to completely believe me. It was great though. It is nice to be able to share the secret. We are still keeping it a secret from everyday folks until at least after the ultrasound.

Now I don't know when to tell work. I am slightly nervous that they are not going to be happy for me, but really, I don't care. It is my leave, I'm taking it regardless. I just hope they don't decide to not hire me back for next school year. If they don't... I don't know what I'm going to do. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. For now I am happy happy happy!

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Double!

My numbers doubled!

225 at 16dpo to 486 at 18dpo!

I know they are not the highest numbers in the world, but they doubled, and that is all that matters! I am so happy!

We told my parents and family, and they are cautiously excited. I am praying for this baby to be with us at our next family reunion next year.

I'm still pregnant!

Double!

My numbers doubled!

225 at 16dpo to 486 at 18dpo!

I know they are not the highest numbers in the world, but they doubled, and that is all that matters! I am so happy!

We told my parents and family, and they are cautiously excited. I am praying for this baby to be with us at our next family reunion next year.

I'm still pregnant!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

225

Betas were 225. I have looked throughout the realms of the internet and most everything I have found says that that is a normal number to have. On beta base.com it actually says that the average is 189, so mine is technically higher than average. Unfortunately, I also found some things that said, "My beta was 1020 at 16dpo." "My beta was 659 at 16dpo." I even found one where the doc told the lady that her 230beta at 15dpo was low. But then I found women who had levels of 89 at 16dpo and are still pregnant 20 something weeks later.

I am trying to convince myself that 225 is a great number. I am on track with the pregnancy. I have another blood draw tomorrow, and unfortunately I will not get the results until Monday of next week because of the holiday. I should be 5 weeks and 2 days by then. I'm nervous, but

Today I am pregnant and I love my baby!

Come on High Betas!

Well, I had my blood drawn yesterday for my 1st beta, and they are supposed to call with the results today. The problem is that I don't know WHEN they are going to call. Morning? Afternoon? Evening? I am desperate to know the results. I want them so badly to be over 200. We'll see though. I took a $tree test this morning and it did show up nice and dark, so I am still pregnant. I just want to know that my pregnancy is viable and will continue.

When on earth will the worry end?? I'm guessing not until I am full-term.

So now I have a quandry.. do I tell the parents at Thanksgiving or not? I will only be 4 weeks 5 days on TG. We told them REALLY early last time, and H had to untell them two days later. It was devastating. We didn't even get to get confirmation from the doc or anything before I lost the baby. I'm thinking that if we have confirmation now with the betas, plus the 9 VERY positive pregnancy tests (I have pics of some of them), then they'll be excited.

Ahh! I don't know.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

I'm still pregnant!



The retreat went well, but I tested as soon as I got home, which is the day after my missed period, and it is sooooooooooooo positive. It is starting to feel real! :) Beta's tomorrow!

Friday, November 21, 2008

Still anxious, but still pregnant.

I am anxiously waiting for this weekend to be over. I want to be officially late on my period. I am 13dpo today, and AF would be due tomorrow. I tested today again with a $tree test and the line was definitely there. It wasn't the darkest thing in the world, but I wouldn't call it faint at all! So far I've taken 6 pregnancy tests and they are all very positive. I can't wait until 13 weeks so that I'll be more calm.

My betas are being done on Monday and Wednesday. I'll be 16 and 18 dpo. I also have my first appt on Dec 17th. I'll be 7 weeks 3 days, so they SHOULD do an ultrasound, and we should get to see the baby/sac/heartbeat. This is going to be the longest wait ever.

I haven't started feeling sick or anything yet, and that is worrying me. I have a wave of nausea here and there, but nothing even enough to call nausea really. I bought some decaf tea and lemon drops just in case.

I'll update again when I'm back from the retreat. Pray for me please. I want this baby so badly.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Betas on Monday

Ok, so they can't do my beta draws until Monday, which kind of sucks, but it's ok. I'll be 16dpo by then, so hopefully it will be a nice high number. I'm hoping for the 500s or something.

I am so so so nervous. I have never not had a period, and this weekend I am due for mine. I am so so so scared that I will get it. I mean, my 2nd line on my test was much darker than yesterday, so I know I really AM pregnant... I just want to sleep through this weekend.

I've had some cramping going on, but I haven't had any spotting at all. I know that people say, "Oh, that's just your uterus stretching," but I don't know. That's what people told me when I was pg before, and I miscarried. I only got to experience pregnancy for three days.

Another thing I am nervous about is that I have NO symptoms. I'm not sick, I'm tired, but not crazy tired. I feel good. I don't want to feel good. I want to know that I am pregnant. I want this pregnancy to go full term and I want our baby out of it!

So... I will be out in the woods this weekend. Please pray for me. I need to come back with no period and no spotting.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

That's Right... BFP!!!!!






I could NOT be more excited!!! I can't believe this is happening to ME!!

In case you wanted to know, here is my bfp story.
This morning I woke up and took my temp... didn't go up a smidge... but it didn't go down either, it just stayed the same. I tested anyway. I was looking at the test for a minute with my crusty covered eyes since it was only 6am, and I saw my typical looking evap line beginning to appear. Although, I will say it was appearing slightly earlier than usual.

So I looked at it and saw that little something and I said outloud,"Gosh, if only that little line would stay instead of evaporate then we'd be good." I set it down and looked at it again about a minute later... I said, "Um, it's still there. Uh... ::staring harder:: um... it's still... holy crap, we may have something here!"

Then I pulled out the FRER. I dipped it in the pee, and waited... and waited... and waited. I looked at it two minutes later, and there was a faint, but definitely there line. My little pink second line. I was jumping up and down at this point.

I ran into the bedroom and said, "Baby! Baby!! Look! I think I might be pregnant!! I think I'm pregnant!!" He sat up groggily and said, "Huh? What? I.. are you sure?" I started rattling on about how I took two tests and that they were both positive and that even HE could see the second line and that I could see the second lines from a book's-length away. He was so confused, but excited. He is reserved because of the m/c a while ago. I had to go to work really soon after that and he sent me a text about an hour later that said, "I definitely see the lines!!!" (Since I kept the tests out in the bathroom for him to see.

I'm over the moon! I cannot wait until the blood draw... I'm trying to go tomorrow, but it might not be until Monday. Wish me luck and a sticky baby! :)

Oh, and the digital was taken tonight. I would post the FRER and $ tree, but the flash on my camera is making it impossible to see in a photo. Maybe if tomorrow's is darker I will post it. :)

OMG.

nft... until tomorrow. ;)

Monday, November 17, 2008

9dpo

Temp went up a measly .1 degrees. I was disappointed when I woke up...H was too. I was hoping it would shoot through the roof and just keep going up. We'll see what happens tomorrow. I also tested today with a bfn. There was my as-always light line on the $tree test, but it ALWAYS turns out to be an evap line. I know it is SUPER early, so I am not too upset about the bfn. It is just difficult not to be upset a little when many people on the boards are getting bfps at 9 dpo. I'm not too upset though, I promise.

We'll see what the next few days brings.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

8dpo

HUGE temp DROP. Stupid charting. I am trying not to get too upset yet because it is still early, but man, that really sucks to have my temp go from 98.0 to 97.2 in one day. Bleh.

In other news, H got paid for the first time today since he got that dream job of his. His paycheck doubled our income, and it was the most liberated I've felt in a LONG time. We can actually pay ALL of our bills on time with no problem. I feel so blessed right now. :)

Saturday, November 15, 2008

7dpo

I had a HUGE temp jump today! It is the highest I've ever had since I've been charting, and I was so excited when I woke up! I really hope this means I have a great chance of a bfp this month. I have some cramping going on today...it'd be nice if they were implantation cramps! :)

So H and I went to his grandmother's today and saw our niece and two nephews.... so cute. H's cousin was also there and she has a three month old. There were three babies under a year there. I wasn't sad or anything, mainly just excited to have it be my turn sometime in my life!

I haven't decided when I will test. I think I'm going to stick with 12dpo. We are going on a fall retreat on Friday, and Thursday will be 12dpo. I'm really hoping that I'll get a dark, no questions asked, bfp. I hate the speculation. Until then...

Friday, November 14, 2008

6 DPO

6 days until I can POAS. I am trying my hardest not to test until 12dpo, because I really really don't want to waste the FRERs I got off of ebay two weeks ago. I have 5 of them, and if I'm not pg this cycle then I want to save them for the next cycle.

Waiting sucks too. I have a lot to do next week, especially with a fall retreat NEXT weekend, so maybe I'll be distracted enough not to care. Right. I hope this is our month. I'd be due in August, which is the worst month for a teacher to take maternity leave, but I don't even care. I just want us to have our baby.

Look for an update in six days.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Of all the days...

Ok...slight update. So I was excited about the job on Wednesday night and Thursday. Friday I woke up with the most horrible case of food poisoning that lasted all weekend. It was the most miserable weekend of my life, and I hope to NEVER have to go through that again! But of all the two days of the month to not be able to temp in the morning-- Saturday and Sunday were the the two days I NEEDED! Oh well. I took an opk in the midst of me puking my guts out, and on Friday it was baaaaarely negative... so I assume Saturday was positive, so I manually put in my crosshairs. I even added two of my temps that had been so popular for the cycle, and now I'm pretty sure that I'm 5dpo. What sucks is that I can't be positive on my O date. My temps are def higher now than they were, so there was a clear thermal shift. Still sucks though. Time to wait!

Thursday, November 6, 2008

So exciting!

So... no baby yet, BUT my H got the job!!! Let me give you a bit of background... we left a VERY high paying job in another state to come to this state to find a youth ministry job. We left with no job prospects for either of us, and since then (July), we've been on the search. Since September, we've had a church interested in us, but the waiting game was killer! Last night, after a three hour meeting, we were offered the position!!!! My H is now a youth minister of a fairly large church! I'm so excited! Not only because we have finally gotten what we've been working towards and praying for, but also, we won't be just living off of my teaching salary! Woot!!! :)

In other news... after eight straight days of the same two temps over and over, I finally got a huge temp drop this morning. I am hoping that that is a pre-O drop! :) OPK results will follow.

I'm so happy!

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

I am a little less bitter about not being pregnant since Af showed a few days ago. I am kind of happy that my period was only like 4 days long this month. I'm pretty sure it is over now. Only 11-14 more days until Ovulation...probably...we'll see. My temping so far this month has been a pain. I'm only four days in too. Last month I wrote my temp down in the morning. Now, for some strange reason, I keep believing that I can remember my temp...and eventually, I do, I just have to go back and change temps every now and again.

I REALLY hope this is our month. Unfortunately we would be due in August, which is when I would return to school next year... not the most ideal, but anything for a baby.

In non-baby related news, my mother is amazing! She paid my student loan payment for me this month... out of the blue! She is incredible some times. :)

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Cycle 9

This morning at 5 a.m. AF came... I knew it was coming, but I didn't want to believe it. I am telling myself that I had a false positive since I never got a second real positive. I can't tell myself anything else for my sanity.

So that brings us into cycle 9. Cycle 9 will be MINE! Rhyming means it's true. :) I think this month I will try mucinex or preseed, and I am going to use opks and try the pineapple core thing. I really thought last month was our month. Hopefully this will be our month.

Friday, October 24, 2008

"Not Pregnant"

Digital said Not Pregnant this morning. Piece of crap. I took the second blue test out of the box, and it had a lighter line than yesterday. Cramping has subsided completely and I am barely spotting at all. I would be hopeful, but I had a HUGE temp drop this morning. Right on time. :( There is really no hope at this point. I am waiting for AF, and I wish she would come on so I could get onto Cycle 9. If for some reason I don't get AF by then, I do have a doctor's appointment on Tuesday. If she shows, I'm cancelling it.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Started spotting.

Nothing large yet, but it is red, and I'm cramping. Must have been a false positive.

REALLY trying not to get my hopes up

Took another $tree test this a.m. at 13 dpo... still that light freaking thing that looks like an evap line. So on my way to work I was really irritated at not knowing, so I stopped at Wal-greens and bought a two pack of their tests. I took the test with the tiny bit of urine I had in me (obviously SMU), and within one minute a light but there line showed. I am trying not to get my hopes up for a few reasons:
1. It is a blue dye test... these are notorious for false positives.
2. The $tree tests haven't been getting any darker.
3. It is light. But I can see it...even without squinting.

I went ahead and called the doc. They can't get me in until Tuesday for a blood draw, which is good, because IF I am pregnant, then my hcg will be higher. If I am not, then AF will come by then and I can cancel my appointment.

PLEASE GOD, PLEASE!!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

11 dpo... bfn

"Not pregnant" are the ugliest words anyone ever put on a digital anything. That's what I read this morning. I *thought* I saw something on a FRER yesterday, and I *thought* (like I always do) I saw something on a $ tree yesterday as well. Oh well. I'm 11 dpo, I still have three days (or until AF comes) to obsess. i just want that second line to show.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Yes! I Oed!

The wait is over! I Oed.... I think on CD18. I'm 5 dpo today. I am not going to test until Friday of next week. I'm determined to wait this month. I need to wait. And now I wait.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

CD16... no O yet.

Irritation has set in.

Seriously, CD16 and no O yet? I know that people go throught CD40 and CD99 to get to O, but I always thought I Oed around CD14. I am beginning to wonder if I am going to have a super short LP. That would be bad. I finally found some OPKs I was willing to pay for, and I took one about an hour ago and it was barely negative. Suck. I'm not sure if the temping and charting is helping me or if it is making me more anxious. Hopefully I Oed either yesterday or today and my temp will shoot up tomorrow.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Charting doesn't suck.

I am in my eleventh day of charting and I have discovered a few things:

1. It is really not that difficult to take my temperature every morning. I thought it would be a pain in the butt, but my alarm goes off every day at 6:20, I take my temp, and go back to sleep for ten more minutes... or sleep in if it is the weekend. I haven't missed a day.

2. I have very low temps. I knew that my resting temp was in the upper 96's, but I had no idea that my temp dropped to the 95's at all. It has twice this week. Crazy.

3. Charting has made me anxious. I am waiting for those three temps above the cover line, and I am getting nervous. I am crazy sick with a sinus infection right now, so we didn't have sex last night. When my temp shot up today, it made me wonder if I missed my window. I am going to give it a go tonight and see if we can still hit it!


So, that's about it for now. I am on CD 11, I should O in the next few days, and hopefully in July we will have a healthy baby in our arms.

Oh! Our one year anniversary is next Monday! I can't believe it! :)

Saturday, September 27, 2008

After 7 cycles of doing it the "easy way"...

I am now charting. I am quite surprised at myself. Four days in a row I have taken my temp immediately upon hearing my alarm go off. Maybe this will give me some insight. If nothing else, it will help the docs understand that I'm serious when I go in for an infertility exam.

Monday, September 22, 2008

AF Arrived.

Cycle 8 begins today. I am so frustrated at TTC. Why on earth is it this F-ing hard?!!?!

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Birthday BFN

I got a bfn this morning on a FRER. I held it up to the light because I thought I saw something, and there was a shadow line in the light. I'm not sure if that is supposed to happen or not. I am just so upset about it. I shouldn't have tested on my birthday... kinda bums me out. 7 cycles... we should have a plain as day bfp by now. She is supposed to show on Sunday. If she doesn't show by Monday, I'll test on Tuesday. I've only got three FRERs left.

In other news, H got up super early this morning and cooked me a wonderful breakfast! He is so sweet. :)

11 dpo

Tomorrow is my birthday. I will be 25. I always wanted to have my first child at 25. My mom had incredible complications with her last child at 28 (she had 4 kids between 20-28), and I'm thinking I've inherited that (but not her fertility!!). I'm hoping for a birthday BFP tomorrow. Please please please... that's all I want for my birthday!

I tested yesterday and today and got a crazy light line (not even sure if it was pink) on them both... dollar tree. As per my prior experience with $ tree tests, I'm not trusting them at all. I honestly am thinking that they are evap lines.

I am cramping though, which I can't recall ever doing before af. Maybe it's a sign of good things to come. I just can't wait until it is my turn to say, "BFP!!"

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Late Night... can't sleep

I want to be pregnant so badly. I want a baby in my arms in 9-10 months. I want to be responsible for that little human being. I don't want to keep trying over and over for years.

I know I'm only on cycle 7, and I know I complained about this in my last post. I just thought it would be easier, ya know? Like everyone says, "It's not as easy as they told you in sex ed!"

I wish I knew why teenagers are able to get pregnant (and stay pregnant) so much easier than adults. I know that it can't be because they are having sex more often, because plenty of people on the nest baby are having sex every day or every other day around O to conceive. It can't be because they are tracking their CM better, or charting their temps more accurately, because we all know that not a one of them has done that. In my opinion, I think that teenagers are biologically able to get pregnant more easily than adults. I believe that our bodies are still adjusting from how things used to be. It used to be (many years ago) that girls were expected to marry and get pregnant around 13 years old. There were many many years of that, and I think we are still adapting to the "newer" lifestyle of later pregnancies... who knows.

It's 2 am and I am rambling. I am Oing very soon, so I'm crossing my fingers that my body acts like the teenager it was once.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

We finished our 6th cycle last week. BFN, then AF. 6 cycles and no viable pregnancy. I got pregnant on our first cycle, miscarried 5 days later. 5 cycles post m/c and no bfp... I know 6 cycles is nothing compared to what some women go through, but I just feel so different from the rest of my entire family. My mother, aunts, and grandmothers all got pregnant many times and had many babies very easily. M/Cs are not at all common in my family. Not only am I having a hard time getting k/u, but I also m/cied my first pregnancy. Le sigh...

We're on 7th cycle now... I'm waiting to O. I took a couple extra pg tests this week to be sure I wasn't pregnant. When af came, she was here for two days... not even that crampy or heavy, then left. No trace since. That has never happened to me before. I took some $tree tests and a wal-mart test... all I saw were gray evap lines. Stupid $tree tests.

Waiting to O is so obnoxious. I feel like it is two wasted weeks. Although, IF I get pregnant this month, then I could get a bfp on my birthday. My 25th birthday is on Sept. 19th, and I will be 12dpo (If my typical cycle calculations are correct). I plan on testing on my birthday morning. What a wonderful present that would be... :)

Friday, July 11, 2008

I'm miserable.

May be TMI, but I have a YI, and I am miserable. I took the three day knock-off monistat pack thing, and it was going fine. Well, last night was my final dose, and I woke up about two hours later with terrible itching--- like 50x worse than what had been going on. So I got up, went to the bathroom, unfortunately had the big D, then took two benedryl in case it was an allergic reaction. This morning I am still itching-- but not too badly. I thought my YI would be gone by the third day, not getting worse! I hope it clears up today, bc tomorrow we are going on a canoe trip, and I've been waiting for that for a while! :(

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Stupid AF

I am assuming that because I was so stressed out this past month that that is the reason AF came 6 days early. Assuming aside, I am still ticked off. I know that this means that we can get an early jump on Cycle #5, but it still sucks big time because I had a lot of hope for this cycle. I had the +opk on CD 13, the neg opk on CD 14, thought for sure we timed everything right, and now nothing.

I never thought it would take us this long to get pregnant. I know that five months is nothing compared to what some people have to go through, but my mother got pregnant twice without even trying, and when they did try for their other two, they had no problem. She also only had one m/c and it was after all four of her children were born and when she was in her forties. I had a m/c my first pregnancy and am now on my fifth cycle trying. Wth??

SIL is having her baby on Monday. I am so jealous I can't stand it. Don't get me wrong, I am so very happy for her, but I am so stinking jealous. She is being induced on Monday-- not really sure why she is being induced two weeks early, but I'm sure there is a reason. I'm jealous though. They didn't even have to attempt to try.

I took down my ticker. I'm not using OPKs this month. I am going to forget all together what cd I am on. I am not going to try this month-- I'm going to try to just let it happen.

Friday, June 27, 2008

6 dpo... or 7

Not sure if I am 6 or 7 dpo today. I looked on my calendar, and I Oed on the 20th I am pretty sure, which, I think, would make me 7 dpo. Anyway, I am not testing until at least Wednesday of this coming week, which would put me at 12 or 13 dpo. I'm nervously excited. 

So... in more recent news... we are moving on Monday! Yay! I am so excited! We got a townhouse and I found out today that they cleaned and fixed the carpets, and that we are allowed to paint or re-wallpaper the walls! Yay! This is really good because the kitchen has horrendous flower wall-paper, and the bathroom has a blue door... ew. So, that will be one of the first things to happen when we move in. 

I ordered the Uhaul yesterday. $648.00 later, we will be able to pick it up on Sunday morning and we can have it until Wednesday morning. Oh, for the money we get a car dolly too. Not too bad, but a serious chunk of change. 

DH and I went to an arcade today and played Deal or No Deal. We ended up winning 300 tickets on one game, which was soooo much fun, but the best part was that there was this summer camp for low-income kids at the arcade at the same time. We took all of our tickets, split them up into little stacks, and gave them to random kids. I was so happy when we left there... the kids beamed when we gave them the tickets. They loved it, and I loved it that they loved it. This is why DH and I are going back to TN. We NEED to be around children.

Now to have a child...that's a different ball game... still waiting. 

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

3 dpo

Today I am 3 dpo. I know I ovulated this month, unless the stupid opk lied to me, on cd 13. My LP is usually from 13-15 days. We shall see what happens. I hate it when people say, "I'm __ dpo, and here are my symptoms." You don't have pregnancy symptoms until after you know you are pregnant! You have body issues that you do not typically have every month. So, my body issues right now are just that my boobs hurt, which they always seem to do every month, and I had a bad dizzy spell in wal-mart two days ago, but that could have just been an ovulation issue or something else. I'm only 3dpo! 

What is really great about this cycle is that we are moving back to Nashville a week from yesterday. The day we move, which is Monday of this upcoming week, will put me at 9 dpo... a day that I would typically start testing (way way early, I know), but because we will be moving that day, moving in still the next day (10 dpo), unpacking the next two days (11-12 dpo), that puts me at 13 dpo until I will probably be able to even FIND my pregnancy tests! 13 dpo is a safe place... there's a good chance a test will pick it up, but then if it is a bfn, there's still a chance I could be pregnant. :) 

So, like I said, we're moving. Up until about 4pm yesterday, I had almost lost all hope for finding a place to live. We are having issues because of our jobs. I cannot start my teaching job until August, so I will have a temporary catering job until then. DH cannot start his job until late July, so he will have a temporary job until then. Apartment complexes do not like this uncertainty. We would wait until late July to move up there, but I HAVE to get up there to interview for my positions, and DH's sister is going to pop out a baby any day now. Well, yesterday around 4pm, we finally got an email from a lady at the office for this townhouse that we were wanting. It isn't the pretties townhouse in the whole world, but it is available, and we were approved for it, and if we want it, then it is ours. I'm so excited! We have a place to live! A friend of mine is going up there to check it out tomorrow, and unless she tells us that it is roach-ridden, then we are moving in on Monday! :) I have to thank God for all of this. I have been praying constantly that things would start to look up for us. Finally, something went right. 

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Either today or tomorrow is O day

So in my best Chandler Bing voice... Could I be that lucky? I took my first OPK yesterday around 12:30pm, and it was an obvious positive. I looked at it at first and pointed to the actual test line and said, "oh, that's so dark, that has to be the reference line"... but then I looked at the directions, and it was not... it was the test line, as dark as could be. So, long story short, my first OPK was a positive. :) ...And so we did what was necessary to make a baby last night. :)

I think I will take another OPK today just to see if I did O already or if I am still building up to it. It is funny though, most people do not have that "normal" 28 day cycle, but according to this opk, I will pretty much O on cycle day 14. My cycles are typically 27-28 days long. 

So I have more hope for this cycle than the last three. We will probably have "sexy time" again tonight for good measure, but I do think that it was overall well-timed with this cycle. Tomorrow will be 1dop... I am NOT going to test until 12 dpo. H and I will be smack in the middle of moving during almost my entire 2ww, so that should help me. 

Friday, June 20, 2008

Going to start the OPKs.

This month I am going to go with OPKs to see if I am ovulating around the time that I think I am. I am very new to this, so we'll see how it goes. 

I had a dream last night that I was about to go into labor with my first child. It was odd though, I looked like I was only about 24-26 weeks pregnant, but in my dream I was full-term. I kept saying in the dream, "This sucks! I can't believe I only got this big!" Weird.

In other news, DH and I move next week. Not this coming week, but the week after. I couldn't be more psyched. We are walking into some unknown territory, and I think it is going to be very hard on us at first, but I know we are going to be fine. :)

Ok, off to buy some opks. 

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Fast forward a month

Ok, so I am going to try to get back into this blogging thing. I was pretty stressed out for the last month or so, and still mildly stressed out, but H and I have made some serious life decisions, which actually make me a lot less stressed.

H and I are moving back to TN, where we both went to college. We both want him to get back into the ministry field so badly, and we both miss TN so much. Both of those reasons point to going back to TN. Plus there are so many other reasons. One of his sisters has two sons that we never see, and the other sister is due in July. We want to be near our neices and nephews so badly... so we are. We are moving around the first of July, although neither of us has a job (mine is almost secured with the school system), and we don't have a place to live yet. I'm trusting God that everything will work out fine.

So about the whole baby-making thing... we are in the middle of Cycle #4. We obviously didn't get a bfp last month, and even though we are making crazy changes, we are still going to try this month. Neither of us wanted to waste a month of trying, and if it does happen, we will just make it work. I always think about the fact that my parents got pregnant with my older sister when she was 19 and he was 21, they had no real careers and no insurance, but they made it. They are happy and all of us are healthy. So we will try this month.

I am so excited about all of the BOTB bfps this month/week. I hope I get mine soon, but for now, congratulations ladies!

Sunday, May 11, 2008

AF on Mother's Day

I was so hoping for a mother's day miracle. I get home from church, take a test, wipe, and there are the beginnings of AF. On to cycle #3.

I can't wait to be a mother. I am hoping it doesn't take a year or more, but if it does, we will keep trying. One day at a time.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

High Stress

I heard on tv the other day that buying a home is one of the most stressful things you will ever do in your entire life. I can only say that this HAS to be true.

H and I are in the middle of buying our first house, and I am so stressed out. We looked at several houses, but ended up falling in love with the first one we saw. We put an offer on it a week later, and after three rounds of countering, they accepted. We then had to go through the stress of the inspection, and since this was a bank-owned, As-is property, we were VERY nervous... well, it turned out fine-- minor problems, nothing we can't fix inexpensively.

Now we are in the middle of getting full and final approval on our loan. We are doing an FHA loan, and we have a nice rate at 6%. The problem is this: H's pay (which is much more than mine) is partly based on sales. Not really commission, because it's not based on what he sells in particular, it is based on how much money part of the company makes. It's weird, and unfortunately, the bank thinks it is weird too. I know we can afford this house, and probably a house that is even more expensive if we wanted, but being that H has only been in his position at that job (he recently got a substantial raise), the bank is having a tough time seeing the money being there always. I'm so stressed.

I will cry so hard if this doesn't work out. I do not want to go back to renting, and I most certainly don't want to go back to apartment living. On top of all of this, there is always the TTC journey. We are nearing the end of cycle #2 (woah! I know...not really), but it has already been a tough time. We got a bfp our first cycle and miscarried at 4w 5d. I was so sad. I'm 10dpo today, and I am probably not going to test.