About Me

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I am a 29 year old teacher of fourth grade. My husband and I began TTC in March of 2008. We conceived our first month, but unfortunately it only ended in an early miscarriage. 8 months later we finally conceived again, and she was our take-home baby! Norah Jane was born on July 16, 2009. 7lbs 0oz 19" long and amazing. We recently had our sweet baby boy, Miles! He was born on June 12, 2013 at 3:37pm, weighing in at 8lbs 4oz, 20 inches long, and PERFECT! We are loving every minute of parenthood (even the frustrating minutes!). This blog is an attempt to chronicle the baby steps, foot steps, leaps, bounds, and milestones of this journey.

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

I know I need to sleep train, but ugh...

I suppose the title says it all. I know I need to sleep train Miles, but ugh... I don't want to hear that boy cry. He's so little, and I know he needs it, and that seems to be the only thing that's going to get me through this. He NEEDS it. He needs to sleep just as much as I do. Ugh. I don't know when I'm going to do it, but I know that I need to sooner rather than later. With Norah, we did it after she turned 9 months old, and that was tough. Miles is 7.5 months, so I don't know if it is going to be more difficult, or easier. He's waking 3-8 times a night now. It's awful. Last night was one of the 8 times. It was awful.

Hopefully I'll get the courage soon.

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Ear tube surgery. Same day, three years later.

Miles has had 6 double ear infections in his short little seven months of life. 6! That's insane! He has been on three different types of antibiotics, and one of the first infections was so bad, that he had a fever for WEEKS. At his six month appointment, when his amazing doctor looked in his ear as a part of her regular check-up, I knew what was coming. I knew it the instant she went, ::sigh::. She said, "We just need to go ahead and get tubes." I knew it. Ugh.

Norah had tubes when she was 18 months old. I wrote about it in THIS post. We've been through this before, so no big deal, right? Again, Ugh.

We scheduled an appointment for the ENT on Christmas Eve. Our ENT, the same one that we used for Norah, is so nice, very professional, and has great office hours. I swear I think he is only closed on Christmas Day, and that's it. We went in on Christmas Eve, and he looked at Miles' ears. When he looked at them (just days after he finished another course of antibiotics), he had another ear infection. Insane. He said that his ears were just formed in a way that the fluid sits behind the eardrum. He agreed that we needed tubes. He was trying to convince me to get them, and I finally had to say, "I WANT them as soon as we can. I hate using antibiotics so much, and I hate seeing Miles in so much pain."

So we set the date. January 20th, 2014-- MLKjr day. Three years to the day from when Norah's was done. How crazy is that? Three years ago on MLKjr day we were in the hospital getting hers done, and now we got his on the same day. Again, the hours of this ENT are awesome. I didn't even have to take a day off of work for the surgery. Awesome!

Oh! Something that did happen while we were at the ENT that was crazy-- he was talking about the tubes. I reminded him that Norah had them. He said, "Yeah, they'll fall out on their own in a year or so." I said, "It's crazy, but Norah still has one of hers! She's had it for three years! And it still works. She had two ear infections lately, and they were draining it. Nasty red stuff.." His eyes got all wide and he said, "It was red? She still has it? Hmm... we need to take a look at her when you come back." I told him that Norah was out in the waiting room with Daniel. He agreed to take a look. Turns out he couldn't see it because of how much mucous and pus was in her ear. So, he ended up getting her ear all sucked out with this fancy vacuum thing. Once he was able to do that, he saw the tube, and he said, "Oh my. I'm going to be honest. That needs to come out." He went on to say how inflamed it was, and how if we didn't get it out soon, it might burst her eardrum. Gah! So we agreed to have him take it out. It took two seconds, and it was out. Norah did SO well during it. My big girl!

Ok, so back to the story. So, I was doing all kinds of fine about Miles' surgery all the way up to the night before. We had our friends Melissa, Will, Shane, and Jamie and Crystal over for dinner that night. Once they left, I realized, oh crap, in 7 hours we have to be at the hospital. I was still kind of fine though. Then I tried to sleep-- then I couldn't. 2am came around and I finally fell asleep. We had to be at the hospital at 6 am, and it is 30 minutes away. Sigh.

Miles couldn't eat after midnight, so I made sure that I woke him up at 11:30pm and fed him. I'm glad I did. Oh, and during the day on Sunday, Miles took an insanely long 3 hour nap. I knew that wasn't good. He's an 1 1/2 hour napper at MOST. When he woke up, sure enough, 101.6 fever. Ugh... I really thought they weren't going to do the surgery. We had to be there at 6am regardless though.

So, we get him and Norah ready and out of the door on time, we get to the hospital, and we are the first and only patient there, which was AWESOME. If we had had the 7am appointment, it would have been a different story. LOTS of people were there after I he was taken back.

Here's my sweet boy and I waiting to be called back. He's so cute.

They had us get him into an ADORABLE tiger hospital gown. I almost died from cuteness overload. They took his vitals, and told us that the anesthesiologist would come by and talk to us soon.

Here's sweet boy being really serious about his socks while his vitals were being taken.

After we were talked to by everyone, there was a LOT of waiting....

Side note: My husband is so handsome. :)

...lots of waiting...and cuteness. :)

... LOTS and LOTS of waiting... he was so tired and hungry, poor thing. 

So tired. He really did as well as we could have hoped. He was so good in spite of the circumstances.

When Miles started to get fussy, Daniel got the genius idea to take him by this window. He banged on that window and the birds, cars, and people for 20 minutes. It was SUCH a big help.

We had to take Norah with us because of how early the surgery was. I can't even begin to explain how good she was during the whole time. She was amazing. I love this little precious thing so much.

I love, love, love her. :) 

So then, the nurse finally came to get him. I was really ok until this point. I handed him to her, kissed his little face, and they whisked him away. I told Norah to give me her hand so we could head to the waiting room. She did, we started walking, and then I lost it. :( I couldn't stop crying. I was crying for the next ten minutes in the waiting room, too. I guess going through it once before doesn't prepare you for your next tiny.

Daniel made me laugh, which always helps, and I calmed down a bit. It took longer than Norah's surgery. I started thinking that something was wrong, but finally we were called. The surgeon said that he did wonderfully, and that once they got in there, he saw a huge infection, lots of pus and grossness. They had to get that all out, then place the tube-- that explains the 101.6 temp. He said Miles was perfect though.

So we were ushered back to the room, and waited for Miles to be delivered to us. They brought him like 2 minutes later. I grabbed him up and held him so tight. He was crying, but not screaming. But then, all of the sudden, he started arching his back and acting super uncomfortable. I felt awful for him. He didn't want his bottle. He was just arching over and over like he was coming out of his skin. I finally handed him to Daniel while I talked to the nurse. He got Miles to calm down after a few minutes. Miles then fell asleep 10 minutes later, and didn't wake up for three hours. :) He was amazing.

When he woke up, he was smiling and ready to play!

Later that day, we took Norah and Miles to the park since it was 55 degrees in January. The very next day, today, it is 12 degrees-- so there's no consistency. :)

I'm so proud of my itty bitty boy. Hopefully he won't have anymore ear infections!!

Saturday, January 18, 2014

I won!

I won!! I am Teacher of the Year for my school!! I cannot believe it! When this possibility started on Monday, it was a pipe dream that I could ever even be in the top three, let alone WIN. Oh my goodness!! After everything was widdled down to the nominated seven, then top three, the teachers had to each vote on who they wanted to represent them. There are at least 60 teachers in my school, which makes things even more crazy. So, the vote was taken up on Thursday morning at 9am, then the votes were counted after school. I assumed I wouldn't know until the next day.

Well, as I was leaving school on Thursday, I stopped by the office to put something in the librarian's mailbox. When I walked in, my principal was sitting in the office, but when she saw me, she walked away back towards her office. I thought nothing of it. Well, as I was about to leave, she came back out of her office and said, "Mrs. B....." I said, "Yes?" She said with wide-eyes and a huge smile, "Congratulations! You're Teacher of the Year!"

I almost came out of my skin. I could not believe it. I was so shocked, and so happy!! Apparently she had gone back to her office when she saw me because she had not seen the vote tally yet (administration has nothing to do with the voting or counting process). I was so happy that I don't think I stopped smiling for two hours.

I called my mom first--- she didn't answer. Then I called my dad. You could hear the pride in his voice. :) It made me even happier. I tried to wait to tell my husband in person, but I couldn't wait. I called him and told him. He was SO happy, and SO proud of me. :)

So, now I get to fill out a lot of paperwork and go to a big banquet dinner in March or April to be honored. :) I'm loving this!

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Today I feel appreciated.

I wanted to document this before tomorrow, because I want to get it all down before the outcome is announced. Yesterday my school faculty and staff had to vote for teacher of the year. Normally, each person gets to choose three from the whole faculty, and then the top three get voted on in a separate ballot. Well, this year they changed it. This year, each team had to come up with one person to nominate. For example, my fourth grade team nominated Debra, who is on our team, because she is amazing. Each other team in the school did the same.

Since there are seven teams in the school, there were seven names on the short list at our faculty meeting. So, from those seven names, everyone got to choose their three. From there, everyone would vote from the top three chosen to get one teacher of the year.

Since my team voted for Debra, imagine my shock and surprise when I saw MY NAME on the short list of seven at the faculty meeting yesterday! I was shocked! That means that another team, not the people who are super close with me on my team, nominated me! I was so so surprised, and very humbled. :)

Today, my principal came into my classroom and informed me that I was chosen as one of the top three. WHAT?! I was stunned. I had never even imagined that I would be on the short list, let alone in the top three! Later I found out from one of the counters, that I had the most votes. 31 out of about 55 voted for me out of the seven. I felt so appreciated and valued. I had no idea other people in the school respected me. :)

So from here we will see... I honestly do NOT expect to win. The two people I'm running against have more experience than me, and they are incredible. I feel honored to have made it this far-- truly. Tomorrow we will vote from the three, and then there will be a teacher of the year named. I don't know if we will know tomorrow or Friday-- either way, I'll be on pins and needles.

Until then...

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Breast feeding stoppage Update #4

Well, it's 12 days in to me officially stopping with breast feeding cold turkey. I am so excited to say that my boobs are now back to their regular size (although they are a but saggier than before--but that's to be expected with having two babies and breast feeding them both). It is so nice to wear my pre-breastfeeding bras! It doesn't hurt anymore when something touches my boobs, or even my nipples--like towels! Towels always hurt, but not anymore!

I can still very easily express milk from my breasts. Yesterday I could feel a mini-clog in there, so I had to express to get it out. I know it will be a long, long time before I'm dried up. With Norah, I could still express some three years after I stopped breastfeeding!

So that's the update-- no mastitis like I feared, no more sore and painful breasts, I can hold miles and even lay on my stomach again! I'm really glad that this went well. I feared so much that it was going to be way harder than this. I will say, it was definitely not easy! It was horrible in the beginning! But after the first week, it was tolerable.

That's all for now.

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Breastfeeding end cold turkey update #3

I want to keep a record of how this is going so that I can look back and remember all of it later. Today is the 7th day since I stopped breastfeeding. I am still in a lot of pain, especially when something touches (or Miles KICKS) my breasts, but there is good news. I am not nearly as engorged and swollen as I was a few days ago. Yesterday I noticed that one of my boobs (the right one) was significantly softer than the day before. That gave me some hope because before that, I hadn't really noticed any change.

What is worrying me though, is that my left boob, which has always been my least producing breast, is still solid on the side, and hurts like crazy when I touch it. I'm still in fear of mastitis, but hopefully it won't come to that.

Each day since the beginning, I've been taking Sudafed to help dry me up. The last few days, I've been hand-expressing just a tiny bit to relieve some pressure. The left boob will express, but that massive lump won't go down. I'm going to try some heat and work on it again later. I had the same problem with Righty the other day, but then I spent about 20 minutes massaging it in the shower. Maybe that's what helped.

So, at least I've got a little relief. Miles is still tolerating the formula, although he does have a bit more gas because of it. Hopefully this time next week I will say that I have no pain at all. We'll see!

Monday, January 6, 2014

Stopping breast feeding cold turkey is the worst.




Those are the only three things I've really been feeling for the last week. As I stated in my last post, I had to stop breastfeeding WAY before I, or Miles, was ready because of a horrible case of Thrush. I tried so so so hard to not let thrush be the reason that I had to quit-- it was the reason I had to stop with Norah, and I wanted so badly for ME to be able to DECIDE when I was going to stop breastfeeding-- not this stupid trush. But I have been beaten. :(

It hurts. It hurts so badly. My boobs are still huge, and I don't know how long they are going to stay that way. They are less engorged than they were a few days ago, but they are still rock hard. The sides of them are super painful, and feel like one insanely huge lump. I am so nervous that I am going to get mastitis... I can't even tell you how many times a day that thought crosses my mind. Sigh.

I just want this to be over. I'm already angry about not being able to decide when we're done. I'm also angry that my breastfeeding experience ended so painfully. I just want to cuddle up with my son and snuggle him close to my chest-- but I can't. It's too painful for me to do that. :( Hopefully soon this will be over.

Here's what I've done so far:
TONS of cabbage leaves in my bra.
sage tea
Expressing less than an ounce to get through the really painful engorgement. Once I pumped 2 oz from one breast and 1oz from the other, and with just that tiny amount, that horrible, glass ripping through my nipples, sharp, shooting, agonizing pain came back and lasted for 2 solid hours. I was in tears. It was awful. Now I just hand express a bit if I need to. I still have these huge lumps though, so I don't know what I'm going to do about that.

The only good thing out of this is that Miles seems to be tolerating the formula well. I was worried since he's been milk protein intolerant since he was born. We did make sure he didn't have a reaction to milk (via yogurt) before we tried a milk-based formula on him, and he didn't. We ended up going with the Similac Sensitive target brand one. He is doing well on it--seedy poops and everything. I did forget how much formula smells. Eck. I also forgot how obnoxious it is to get up and make a bottle first thing in the morning instead of just being able to whip out the boob. I miss nursing him. :(

Friday, January 3, 2014

Stupid thrush.

Thrush has robbed me once again. Robbed me of the choice of when to wean my son from breast feeding. Just like with Norah, the pain is so bad, I can't physically do it anymore. Every time I nurse or pump, I get sharp, stabbing, shooting pains radiating from the back of
Each breast, up through the nipple. It feels like glass coming out of my nipples. It's so much worse than labor pains. The worst part is that this horrific pain last for a minimum of two hours. Two hours. It's misery.

So, two nights ago, after I nursed Miles for the evening, and it happened again, I told Daniel that I just couldn't do it anymore. I have been treating thrush for the last week: diflucan and gentian violet with no relief. It just hurts so much, and it was making me dread nursing or pumping-- I was getting very anxious each time I knew it was coming up.

Now I'm in the process of drying up. :( I can't gradually do it because of the insane pain that I feel after pumping or nursing. So I've had to go cold turkey. It's awful.

My boobs are the size of Texas. They are so so so sore, like one huge bruise. I've been doing cabbage leaves, sudafed, and Motrin. I can't hold my son to my chest because of how painful it is. :(

Pray for me. I need it.